As we have already established the Inner Critic is the negative voice within our heads that can affect much about us in our daily life including our confidence, our decision making, our anxiety and personal growth. Here we take a deeper look at the Inner Critic and how we can work to understand it and with it so that it becomes less fearful and more helpful to us.
Your Inner Critic, the voice that questions your decisions, doubts your abilities, or highlights your mistake can be exhausting. But in Therapeutic Coaching, we see it not as an enemy, but as a messenger. Learning to relate differently to this voice can transform how you approach challenges, stress, and self-doubt.
One of the most effective frameworks for this is Alex Howard’s RIDD model, which offers a step-by-step way to work with your Inner Critic:
R – Recognise
The first step is awareness. Noticing when the Inner Critic appears, where it shows up, It’s triggers, what it is saying and the tone it is saying it in. By simply acknowledging the voice without judgment you create space between you and the Critic. This awareness is the foundation of choice.
I – Investigate
Next, explore what your inner critic is really saying. Ask questions like:
Is this thought really true or is it just my fear talking?
Is this voice trying to protect me from something?
How is this showing up in my body?
In understanding why the voice is there you are able to see it more clearly. Investigating in this way transforms the Inner Critic from a harsh judge into a messenger. You begin to see patterns starting to form instead of reacting automatically.
D – Decide
This is where you get to choose. You can decide how much attention to give this voice and whether it deserves to influence your decisions. Does this thought need your attention or can you let it pass. This step empowers you to regain control and make conscious, values-aligned choices. You are in charge, not the Inner Critic, you are not obliged to obey your Inner Critic.
D – Do
Finally, take action. Respond with clarity, confidence, and compassion. This could be speaking kindly to yourself, setting a boundary, or simply moving forward despite the Critic’s objections. Over time, repeated practice strengthens your ability to act from calm and grounded awareness.
The aim isn’t to silence the Inner Critic but to reshape your relationship with it. With practice, you can notice it, understand it, choose your response, and act in ways that support your goals and well-being. In this way the Inner Critic can become a messenger and not the boss!
Tips for dealing with the inner critic.
Below are a few ways to respond to the Inner Critic and yes, they actually work! Give them a try, you will be surprised at how easy they are and the results they have.
Moving the Inner Critic from your head to your toe.
This is a great way to bring yourself back to the present moment and ground yourself whilst removing some of the power of your Inner Critic and allowing you to gain more clarity.
Here’s how it works and why it helps
Imagine the Critic’s voice moving from your head down to your big toe, this allows you to shift focus from thinking to feeling. The Inner Critic often lives in your mind, replaying worries, judgments, or fears. By imagining the voice moving down your body to your feet or toes, you shift awareness from mental chatter to bodily sensations. This helps you step out of overthinking.
Moving your Inner Critic also brings you into the present moment. Feeling your feet on the floor, noticing your toes, or imagining the Critic moving downward reconnects you to the here and now, which calms racing thoughts and reduces anxiety.
Another benefit of moving the Inner Critic from your head to your toes is that is reduces the power that it has. When the Inner Critic feels “up in your head,” it can feel all-consuming. Moving it down, out of your mind, creates psychological distance, making it easier to observe and respond rather than react automatically.
With the Critic in your toe rather than your head you can engage your body as an anchor. Grounding through your body taps into your nervous system. It signals safety to your brain, helping to regulate stress responses and calm the emotional intensity of the Critic.
Make Your Inner Critic Silly (and Less Scary)
One of the simplest, yet surprisingly effective ways to reduce the power of your Inner Critic is to change how it sounds. The voice in your head might be harsh, judgmental, or relentless—but when you give it a funny or exaggerated tone, something interesting happens: it becomes less threatening, more manageable, and even a little amusing.
Here’s how it works and why it helps:
It Creates Psychological Distance. When you hear the Critic as a tiny cartoon voice, a deep monster growl, or a squeaky chipmunk this automatically signals to your brain that this isn’t serious danger rather that it’s just a thought. This makes it easier to observe rather than react.
It breaks the Critic’s Authority. The Inner Critic often feels all-powerful because we take its tone seriously. Turning it into something funny reminds you that you are in charge, not the voice.
It engages curiosity and play. Humour engages the part of your brain associated with creativity and play, not threat. By playfully exaggerating the voice, you invite curiosity over fear, making it easier to explore what the Critic is really saying.
It reduces emotional intensity. Anger, shame, and fear can shrink when we laugh at the Critic. The voice doesn’t disappear, but its emotional hold weakens, giving you space to respond with calm and clarity.
Externalise Your Inner Critic
Your Inner Critic often feels like it lives inside your head, constantly commenting on your choices, abilities, or actions. Externalising it is a way to step back and see it as something separate from you, as character rather than an identity. When the critic feels like part of you, it can be overwhelming.
Here’s how it works and how it helps.
It again, creates psychological distance, by imagining it outside of yourself, you are able to see it as a voice to observe rather than one to obey.
It reduces emotional intensity, for example, criticism loses some of its sting when it’s no longer coming from you.
It Increases choice and control in allowing you to decide how to respond instead of reacting automatically.
How to Externalise Your Critic
Give it a form, maybe Imagine it as a little character in the room—a cartoon, puppet, or quirky figure.
Give it a nickname name it, this could be silly or funny or a name that has a meaning to you. By naming it, it makes it easier to separate its words from your identity.
Draw it, by sketching or doodling your Critic you can make abstract thoughts concrete and more manageable.
Use a thought bubble, when you visualise its comments floating in a bubble outside your head. You can watch them come and go without taking them personally.
Taking It a Step Further
Once your critic is externalised it is easier to respond thoughtfully and talk to it kindly, firmly, or even humorously as is needed in the moment. You are more easily able to challenge its statements and set boundaries if the Critic is externalised asking questions such as “is this really true of is this fear speaking” or making statement such as “thanks for showing up but I’m doing it my way today”. Externalising transforms your inner critic from a bossy, controlling voice into a manageable character. It’s no longer a threat, in fact you’re simply noticing its messages and choosing your response.
By noticing your Inner Critic through the RIDD model, you give yourself the power to step back from automatic self-judgment and choose a gentler, more grounded response. Practicing simple strategies, like shifting the Critic’s voice, moving the energy from your head to your big toe, or imagining it outside of yourself, helps you create space for self-compassion and clarity. Over time, these small, intentional actions can turn the Inner Critic from a constant source of stress into a signal that invites curiosity and conscious choice, helping you move through life with more ease, confidence, and calm.