How to spot them, challenge them, and rewire your thinking for growth.
Did you know your brain comes with its own set of filters? Psychologists often describe them as Delete, Distort, or Generalise. These filters shape how we perceive events—and later, how we remember them.
Before reading on, watch the following video to understand what I mean.
Source: The Selective Attention Test
Think about it: our memories are far from perfect. Ask any police officer who’s interviewed witnesses to the same crime; every person tells a slightly different story. I’ve even had full-blown debates with my own family about supposedly unforgettable moments. Who really knocked over the Christmas tree? Was my cousin furious or just upset? Why was that party so painfully dull? Everyone swore their version was the truth.
So, why the discrepancies? It’s not that our brains are faulty—it’s the opposite. Our senses absorb around a billion pieces of information every second, but our conscious mind can only juggle about ten bits at a time. Which means we have to filter, constantly. And no matter what my dad claims, no one can genuinely watch TV, listen to the radio, read the paper, with their eyes closed and snoring.
What Do These Filters Do?
Imagine standing at a bus stop mid-morning, stomach growling. Someone next to you unwraps a bacon sandwich, and suddenly the only thing your brain cares about is that smell. Now replay the same scene—but this time you’ve got an unprepared presentation looming over you. The sandwich fades into the background as anxiety takes centre stage. Add a motorbike swerving to avoid a cat and crashing into a car, and guess what you’ll remember months later? The accident. The sandwich and your nerves will likely disappear from the story altogether.
That’s deletion: your brain discards details it doesn’t deem important. But our brains also distort and generalise information. Back at the bus stop—hungry you might recall your neighbour devouring that sandwich with joy, savouring every bite. In reality, they may have been eating absentmindedly. But your brain takes a shortcut: If I had that sandwich, I’d be ecstatic—so they must have been too.
Most of the time, these shortcuts are useful. They help us process the overwhelming flood of information around us. But sometimes, the filters we’ve developed can warp our experiences and even shape unhelpful beliefs.
Where Do These Filters Come From?
We don’t choose them consciously. Filters are learned—often in childhood—when we’re figuring out how to cope with overwhelming emotions.
Take this example: you come home from school with a poor report card. Your parents yell, and you feel ashamed. At dinner, you eat quickly, hardly noticing until you’re uncomfortably full. Strangely, that stuffed feeling is better than shame. Your brain makes a note: Food can cover pain. The next time you feel ashamed, you eat again. Soon, eating becomes your automatic response to shame—reinforced, perhaps, when your parents praise you for finishing your plate. What starts as a coping mechanism becomes a belief, a filter through which you respond to similar feelings for years to come.
The bottom line? Our brains are incredible storytellers—but not always reliable reporters. To understand ourselves better, we need to understand the filters shaping how we see, remember, and react to the world. We need to find the invisible gorilla in our beliefs.
How to fill back in the deletions, distortions and generalisations?
Deletion: The Things We Leave Out
Deletion happens when our brain zooms in on one detail and conveniently leaves out the rest. It’s a bit like turning down the volume on everything except the part we want to hear—what we often call selective listening.
Take the statement: “I know he doesn’t like me.” On the surface, it sounds simple. But notice what’s missing: Who exactly is “he”? What did he do that proves dislike? Was it something he said, a look he gave, or just an assumption?
Those unanswered questions are the result of deletion. The brain skips over information, leaving gaps in the story—gaps we often fill in without realizing it.
Distortion: When the Story Gets Twisted
Distortion happens when our brain bends reality to fit a narrative—usually one we’ve already decided on. It’s like applying a funhouse mirror to experience: the reflection is based on truth, but it isn’t quite accurate.
Imagine you wave at a colleague across the street, and they don’t wave back. Instantly, your brain might distort the situation: “They’re ignoring me. They must be upset with me.”
But maybe they simply didn’t see you. Or maybe they were lost in thought, rushing to a meeting, or had their mind on something completely unrelated. The truth is neutral, but distortion adds a storyline that isn’t really there.
That’s distortion: we project, exaggerate, or reshape details to match our own expectations.
Generalisation: One Size Fits All
Generalisation is when the brain takes a few similar experiences and uses them as a shortcut for all similar situations. It’s efficient, but it can also be misleading.
For example, if you went to a couple of dull parties, your brain might store away: “Parties are boring.” Or if you had a few bad experiences with a dog, you might decide: “All dogs are dangerous.”
Generalisation helps us to learn quickly like touching a hot stove once is usually enough. But when it comes to people, events, and emotions, this shortcut can limit how we see the world and even lock us into unhelpful beliefs.
Together, deletion, distortion, and generalisation are the brain’s editing tools. They simplify the chaos of experience, but they also shape the way we remember, interpret, and respond to life. To get a better understanding we need to ask questions to uncover what has been edited out.
So that’s my invitation to you today: what deletions, distortions and generalisations are you living with? Ask yourself:
- Who, what, or which exactly? Don’t let vague statements stand unchallenged.
- How, when, where, or with whom specifically? Pin down the context.
- What would happen if I did—or if I didn’t? This helps test assumptions.
- Are there any exceptions? Challenge the sweeping generalisations.
Because sometimes, what once protected you may now hold you back.
Thank you for reading.
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