One of the most common questions people bring into coaching is:
“How do I find my purpose?”
Closely followed by:
“What am I truly passionate about?”
Although these concepts are often linked, passion and purpose are not the same.
Passion is what naturally attracts our attention and energy. It is what excites us, interests us, and makes us feel alive. Passion can change throughout our lives as we gain new experiences, develop new skills, and enter different life stages.
Purpose, however, tends to operate at a deeper level.
Purpose is not simply what we enjoy doing. It is connected to meaning, values, contribution, and the deeper reason behind our actions. While passion answers the question, “What energizes me?”, purpose asks, “What am I here to contribute?”
Some individuals seem to discover their passions early in life. Others need decades of exploration, experimentation, and reflection before they gain clarity. Neither path is better than the other.
In many coaching approaches, conversations about purpose begin early in the goal-setting process. However, Therapeutic Coaching often takes a different route.
Before defining purpose, we first explore the layers that may be obscuring it.
Many people build their identity around expectations inherited from family, culture, education, workplaces, or significant relationships. Over time, these external influences can become so integrated that they are mistaken for authentic desires.
A successful career may have been chosen to gain approval.
A helping profession may have emerged from a need to feel needed.
An ambitious goal may be driven by fear rather than genuine aspiration.
When purpose is built upon unconscious patterns, it can feel fragile. Even achievement may leave a person feeling disconnected or empty.
Therapeutic Coaching therefore focuses on uncovering before defining.
Through self-awareness, emotional processing, exploration of limiting beliefs, examination of identity patterns, and reconnecting with the body’s wisdom, clients begin to separate who they truly are from who they learned to be.
As these layers soften, purpose often emerges naturally rather than being intellectually constructed.
Another important distinction is the relationship between purpose and ego.
The ego seeks recognition, status, certainty, and validation. These are not inherently negative needs, but they can become the primary driver of life choices.
Purpose tends to move beyond the self.
It asks:
* How can I contribute?
* What values do I want to embody?
* What impact do I want to create?
* How do I want others to experience me?
Paradoxically, the more selfless purpose becomes, the more fulfilling it often feels.
Reflective Coaching Questions
* What activities make me lose track of time?
* What values do I consistently defend or protect?
* What life experiences have shaped me most deeply?
* What expectations am I carrying that may not truly belong to me?
* What would I pursue if no one else’s approval was required?
* What contribution would feel meaningful even if nobody applauded it?
A Simple Therapeutic Coaching Exercise
Draw three circles.
Outer Circle: Expectations from others.
Middle Circle: Roles and identities you currently hold.
Inner Circle: Values that remain regardless of role or achievement.
Spend time exploring what remains in the center when external expectations and roles are temporarily removed.
Often, purpose is not something we create.
It is something we uncover.
Beneath the layers of conditioning, fear, and expectation, purpose is less about becoming someone new and more about remembering who we already are.